Episode 15: The 19 Annoying People You Meet at the Airport
Anyone who’s spent any amount of time in an airport knows what we’re talking about. Heck, we’ve had days where we spent 6+ hours waiting at an airport, and been to our fair share of airports and there are the same annoying habits across the damn globe.
Take a look at our most cringe-inducing airport and airplane habits.
The most annoying airport habits
These are the people who’ve forgotten their math basics and which numbers go before which numbers. Even when it’s announced several times AND there are lanes with the indicated boarding groups and numbers…these people don’t fucking care! They’re going to board whenever they darn well please!
To not be this person, simply look at your ticket and when they indicate it’s your time to board, you can line up! Let’s not all stand at the gate and create a clusterfuck for all the people who’s turn it actually is!
Also, you must LOVE sitting! Because if you’re lining up that early to go sit on a plane for 10+ hours, you gotta find some new hobbies, friend.
people not using headphones
Unfortunately, this is an actual thing. I can’t tell you how many hours of Candy Crush I’ve listened to! If you are playing a game on your phone, or tablet, please for the sake of every other single person in the entire airport, put some goddamn headphones in. Forgot ‘em? Go buy some cheap ones! Or, better yet just put the game on silent — I don’t think you need to have the chiming and binging noises on to play!
This goes for people watching tv shows and movies without headphones in, too! Really, just any noise coming out of your electronics that I can hear 10 seats away from you is enough to make the entire room of people waiting turn on you. You’ll be the first one we leave behind in an emergency sea landing.
not having docs/tickets ready
Are you waiting in a security line for 20 minutes and waiting until it’s your turn at the TSA desk to rummage through all your shit and find your passport and boarding pass? We hate you! Use that front pouch in whatever bag you have for all these important things and have those things at the ready!
If for some reason you thought they weren’t checking those things anymore and you wouldn’t have to show anyone anything, I’m here to tell you that this will happen every single time you go to the airport! Have that stuff ready when you go through security AND when you board the plane.
Here’s another tip; every important thing should have a home. This way EVERY time you need your passport, it will be in the exact same place, ready and waiting to be showed to someone.
Listen, I think we are all understanding of someone who is new to flying and doesn’t quite know what they need to be doing to get through the security line. HOWEVER, those TSA people do a pretty good job of letting you know what you’re going to have to do. And we know that not every security line in every country has the same rules; some of them you must take your shoes off, some you can leave them on. But, there will always be signage to tell you what to do. Or there will be a loud Security agent literally yelling directions on repeat for everyone to hear.
All we’re asking is for you to not show up in the security line, having not listened to the TSA person tell you what to do, and having not read the clear signage with photos of do’s and don’ts and then proceed through with a jacket, belt, shoes and laptop still stuffed into your bag to then be surprised you did something incorrectly.
How to combat this: have your electronics and bag of TSA-approved liquids in a convenient place. Have your passport/visa/documents in that same place you always have them and be ready to hand them to the TSA agents. If you’re wearing layers, have them unzipped, or start taking them off in the line while you’re waiting. When we have hiking boots on, we unlace them before we get into the security line so we don’t hold up the line trying to unlace a thousand eyelets while trying holding everything else.
taking shit out of your bag at the check-in counter
Hey, we are always trying to bring all the things we need to on our trips. This often leads to us packing too much and then going through and eliminating things from our bags to make sure we meet the weight requirement (and that our bags will actually zip).
In order to not be the one at the check-in gate unzipping your checked luggage and taking things out, or rearranging to try to get your sweatshirt in there…please please please, just check what your weight requirement is BEFORE you get to that point. Most of the time it’s 50 pounds. And they do in fact weigh them when you check them, so make sure you are meeting that requirement. If you do not, you’ll be wearing a shit load of your clothes on the plane to try to get stuff out of that bag, or you’ll have to pay them extra for over-sized luggage. And they do not cut you any slack on these charges at the airport.
How to avoid this: weigh your fully packed bag at home before showing up the airport. Pay for your checked luggage online before-hand; they always charge you more AT the airport.
sick people touching everything
I don’t think we need to say much about this. I understand you don’t want to cancel an entire flight and trip because you have a cold. But, you can be considerate about your germs. Wash your hands often, bring hand sanitizer, wipe down surfaces you’re touching/coughing/sneezing on, cover your mouth, bring your own tissues so you’re prepared for a snotty sneeze at any moment.
kids running about
Listen, I already have an aversion to children in the regular world. I cannot count the amount of times someone has said something to the effect of, “awww look at that precious baby! Don’t you think that’s the cutest baby you’ve ever seen?!!” To which I usually reply, “well, it literally looks like every other single baby…”
Don’t get me wrong, some kids are kind of fun to be around (for a very specific amount of time), but beyond a few hours…not my cup o’ tea. Maybe I’ll change my mind one day, stick around.
Anyway, you can imagine my displeasure when parents let their kids run fucking wild in an airport. I know everyone knows what I’m talking about and I don’t think I need to elaborate.
Please, please for the sake of everyone’s sanity, bring shit for your kids to do, and let me tell ya, manners matter in an airport and on an airplane just as much as they do outside these spaces.
As if being in an airport for hours on end isn’t horrid enough!
taking up seats when people are standing
If and when we get to our gate at the airport plenty early, and there are loads of empty seats open, we usually put some of our stuff on an empty seat and have an empty seat between us to spread out in. However, as people start rolling in, we take our bags off, put them under our chairs and move next to each other.
Some people, however, do not do this. This results in a fuck-ton of empty single chairs because people are putting an empty chair between them and the stranger next to them. So when people traveling together start getting to the gate, no one can sit together and people just end up sitting on the floor or standing for a long time instead.
To avoid this: just move your stuff and your ass over! Make room for the other people waiting at the gate so they don’t have to sit on the floor or stand.
talking obnoxiously loud on the phone
Just…stop it. There’s always some older person talking at an unnaturally volume about…anything and everything…the doctor’s appointment they just had, what they had to eat in the airport, their gingivitis, anything is up for conversation on the phone in the airport.
Or, it’s a douch-y self-important business man with that low, grumbly cocky voice (you know the one) who insists on faux humble-bragging to..someone! Not sure who’s listening on the other end? Probably, their mother?
Either way, if you are wasting time in the airport by calling everyone in your contacts, that’s cool, we just all don’t need to be able to hear it from every gate in that part of the airport.
And whomever is on the phone with you and interested in your gingivitis-related news, God bless ‘em.
The most annoying in-flight habits
Again, with the no headphones
There is almost nothing worse than being on a plane with someone who is playing games on their phone without headphones in. At least if you’re in the airport, you can move away from them. On the plane, there is no escape. I’ve sat behind kids on iPads playing games with the volume on. I’m never sure what the policy is on that one? Tell the kid to put it on silent? Ask the parent if they can have their kid put headphones on? I never know what to do and usually just put my own headphones in and turn up to max volume to try to drown out the bings and chiming noises that are insanity-inducing.
putting your bag in a front bin when your seat is not there
Not only is this annoying for those who are actually sitting up in those front parts of the plane because now their storage space has been bogarted, it’s annoying when we’re all trying to de-plane as you then hold up the line when we’re almost out to grab all your baggage. THEN, the people in the front of the plane have to store their bags further back in the plane and cause a ruckus trying to get back to their bags when you de-plane, or, they’re forced to wait until everyone is off so they can walk all the way back there.
I understand when there’s not many bins space left available and you’re just trying to find somewhere to put it, that’s a non-issue! But just being a dick and putting your luggage as close to the front of the plane as you can so you can grab it on the way out, is just plain old rude!
It’s is truly one of the most annoying fucking things happening on airplanes around the world.
I don’t have as much of a problem with this as other people do. As long as you have clean, scent-free feet and you keep them out of my space, that’s cool. But, those are rarely the people who are going barefooted in planes.
Obviously, sharing a tin can in the sky with a couple hundred people, some people will, for sure, mind your stinky feet in their space. There’s just something about the smell of hot, sweaty feet that’ll ruin your appetite for disgusting plane food.
Just bring some cozy, warm socks and prevent this problem all together.
wild kids, w/ no parent interference
That’s right, it’s the children again. Ruining flights since the beginning of the 20th Century. You can find a plethora of videos of children just fucking flights up for hours on end. I’ve had plenty of those experiences myself; kids yelling, kids throwing food, kids kicking the shit out of your seat, kids staring at you for hours on end, kids crying for hours, kids fighting with other kids, kids asking a million questions, bored kids, angry kids, sad kids, hyper kids, kids that won’t fall asleep, kids who are too hot, kids that are too cold, kids who won’t eat anything, kids who need to poop, sick kids, and well, some well-behaved kids.
Keep in mind, I have the utmost sympathy for parents trying to take their kids on flights, it looks absolutely dreadful. There are plenty of parents who keep their kids under control, reasonably happy and entertained on flights and there’s no problem. I don’t even care about the mildly cranky kids who are just having a hard time on the flight.
Those are not the people I’m talking about. It’s the ones that are wild and there’s not a dose of parenting happening. I don’t care how you raise your kid, it’s none of my business. But, to just let them do whatever the fuck in an airplane with hundreds of other people?!
standing up as soon as the plane stops
The dreaded de-planing ritual. The plane lands and taxis down to the gate, and everyone immediately unbuckles their seat beat. AS SOON as the plane stops rolling, nearly everyone bolts to the standing position and tries to grab their baggage from the overhead bins. And then they all stand there for 10 minutes, hunched over because the aisle is full of people and there’s nowhere to go until the plane door actually opens.
Listen, we’ve all been on this airplane for 14 hours, is 10 more minutes seated going to just push you over the damn edge?!
We usually just remain in our seats until almost everyone is off the plane, because…..we’re all going to the same damn luggage carousel and we’ll catch up with the group in about 3 minutes who just HAD to stand up as soon as the plane landed.
Sometimes people are so fucking hyped up about de-boarding the plane that they push their way past other people trying to get off the plane. In fact, one time on a short inter-country flight in Peru, the plane had just landed and the door wasn’t even open yet, and the guy in the window seat in our row CLIMBED OVER US to go stand in the packed aisle-way. Needless to say, it was an awkward encounter when we both got to the luggage carousel at the same time and our bags came out before his.
being an armrest hog
The person stuck in that middle seat needs at least one of those armrests; there’s nowhere else for them to go! At least the aisle people can spread out a little that way and the window people can rest against the window…but that middle person is depending on you to not be a rude armrest hog!
Anyone who travels with any frequency has come across this. You’re stuck in the middle and no one will spare an inch on either armrest so your trapped with your arms just folded in on one another and nowhere to spread out.
Just be considerate if you have two whole armrests at your disposal. At the very least, give that person in the middle the front half of that shared armrest!
loud talkers during sleep time
In my experience, most people are pretty good about this. During long-haul or red-eye flights, the flight crew will dim the lights and hand out blankets for when it’s sleep time. People lower their shades and usually the majority of the passengers conk out for several hours and it’s pretty quiet. But every once in awhile, there’s someone who refuses to pipe down even though the rest of plane is trying to snooze. Usually it’s more than one person because the loud talker(s) need someone to loud talk to.
Most people don’t care if people carry on having a quiet conversation while they’re trying to sleep, but the people who are talking a regular volume are just kind of obnoxious.
clapping when the plane lands
Whenever people do this, it makes me think they thought we weren’t going to make it to our destination; that our flight was going to go down in the Atlantic and they are just so overjoyed we survived. It’s like people who clap at the end of a movie…who are you giving this applause to? The projectionist? The filmmakers who aren’t in the room?
It’s the same for flights! Are you applauding the flight attendants for doing their jobs, or the pilot for getting you through the sky? First of all, the pilot can’t even hear you (because…doors, headphones and noise in the cockpit and all that) and won’t know you’re clapping unless someone from the flight crew went up there and told them. Second of all, in what world do we clap every time someone does their job successfully? Do you applaud your dentist, or your mail man? No, because it would be fucking weird!
And a last point about clapping. It’s kinda insulting to the pilot, don’t you think? To me it just screams that you feared for your life and you’re overwhelmed with happiness that they could actually do the job they’re there for.
the nervous flyer who makes other nervous fliers more nervous
This is like the classic scene in Bridesmaids when Kristen Wigg is freaking out about the Colonial Woman on the wing of the plane and then the other nervous flyer lady starts panicking and wants to start saying her goodbyes. Haven’t seen it? Great, I’ll never pass up a moment to share snippets of that plane scene.
A nervous flier on their own is manageable and can usually be calmed down. But if there’s another nervous flier seated next to them, they can fuel themselves into a ball of unmanageable nervousness. I’ve sat next to a few nervous fliers and found them grasping for my hand throughout the flight and each told me they were happy to have someone calm next to them. In any group situation, it’s pretty easy for things to get out of control as someone panicking can induce others to start panicking, which in turns gives most people that churning in their stomach that something bad might happen.
the person who can’t read the room + wants to talk to you for hours on end
For the most part, I don’t enjoy talking to strangers on planes; usually the conversation fizzles out after 20-30 minutes and then it can just be kind of weird. That’s not really that bad. What’s bad is someone who is chatting your ear off when you are clearly not interested in chatting! I’ve had this happen several times and even if you are giving out all the right signals you’re not interested in a conversation, they just keep on talking at you. Even when you get your book out, or put your headphones on, or start a movie…there they are, chatting away!
Just so I don’t seem like a total asshole, there have been loads of times where I’ve had very interesting conversations with my seat mate for the entire flight and was happy to do so. I just don’t like be talked AT when I’m not up for it!
And that wraps up some of the most annoying airport and airline habits we’ve come across on our travels!
what was your worst flight or airport experience?
Share it with me in the comments below!
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